Jason’s Fresh Produce

I just had a sweet idea.

You’ve seen cartoony representations of people filling up helium balloons and floating away.

There’s even the priest who attached a bunch of weather balloons to a  lawn chair and got himself killed.

But how much would it really take to just, say, shave 50-75% off my weight? I could wear this “balloon harness” and bound around a field like a man on the moon! What would my vertical be if I only “weighed” 50 pounds?

I feel this would be awesome.