Jason’s Fresh Produce

Lizards, like all animals, are made out of meat. Unlike the major agriculture animals–cows, chickens, and pigs–however, they are *cold-blooded*. What this means for you and me is that they waste less energy keeping themselves warm, and consequently have more energy to convert into more meat.

Most lizards are carnivores, or at least omnivores, eating primarily insects. Raising such lizards in conjunction with raising cows seems like it could kill two birds with one stone.

There are also herbivorous lizards. Lizards could probably be bred to subsist on the same corn-based feed that cattle do.

In fact, I am convinced that, through breeding, lizards could become just as good as cattle for food stock, and more efficient to boot.

Now, I am not so ignorant as to believe that the populace would shift to eating lizards easily. But I have a plan for that. My marketing campaign involves creating a war between the warm-bloods (us, cows, chickens, pigs, e.g.) and the cold-bloods (lizards, fish, vampires). We’ll create an entirely new class of eaters–not vegetarians, but poikilotarians. (Poikilothermic creatures have body temps that vary with external temp, i.e., are cold-blooded).

Consumption of poikilotherms is not only more efficient, it helps assure the ascendancy of our evolved mechanism of thermoregulation! Who’s not in favor of that?

Once we realize the science in Jurassic park, it will be easy and affordable to shift our citizens to the consumption of brontosauras meat.